Fruit f**kin Flies

[goldringers]

It's been nearly a month since I last moaned so I feel I've done well but here goes;-

Up till last week I hadn't seen one fruit fly then like a biblical holocaust of locust the fookers laid siege in my kitchen.

A few of wife's m8 said the same thing they all appeared around the same time. 

So like Baldric I had a cunning plan, cider vinegar drop of fairy. Little did I know these fruit flies of mone had come equipt and prepared. They had silicone slip on boots to aid them to gently walk along the edge of the dish lid stopping only only to snigger.

Not one fooker took the death dive. An hour past and I thought, there should be at least 4 or 5 stuck to my potion but oh no... They were sat on the edge taking the odd drink then resting up on the rim.

We have a food waste bin with a pretty tight sealed lid so how the fook do about 20 get in there then in the dark then have a fookin blind man's disco ??. As soon as you open the lid it's like scene from Alfred Hitchcock's "Birds"

These bastard's are the next gen fruit fly that with evolution they've developed A.I. powers basically taking the piss out of me.

I crept up close the other day and there it was, sat on a vertical blind gathering U.V's like a solar panel recharging for its next move.

I flicked it right up the shitter and in that split second it disappeared only to walked straight across the lense on my fookin specs.

And fly spray ? Why are they fookin immune to the stuff their like Chernobyl flies. 

 

Question is,

Other than me locking every door & window and not venturing out till October how the Jesus Mary and Joseph do you eliminate these top shagging flies cause they breed faster than rabbits !!

Edited July 29, 2025 by goldringers

[Diddy]

Replace the vinegar with water and rotten fruit. add the washing up liquid to the water in the same way. Enjoy the death show. 

There are other types of fly that require different bait in the water.....again a small bit of rotten meat/fish will do the job ....all of these are outside jobs obviously. 

Few drops of peppermint oil in the bin makes it smell nice and the flies fuck off as they don't like it.

[goldringers]

I'll give that a go 

 

And what's with the price of fly spray these days?. I drops in Tesco's and I thought I'll pick some up for the normal flies 

£4:50 !!

They can go and get fooked good style !!

[chizh]

I use hot water, cider vinegar and a drop of W-U-L. Stir together in a shallow glass dish like a individual cheesecake/creme-brulee pot about half-full. The important thing to do is stretch clingfilm over the top and poke half a dozen holes in it. Flies climb in and somehow don't know how to crawl back out of the same hole. I get at least 50 of the buggers a week during the summer with this.  I did the same at work a couple of years ago and the cleaner now does it wherever she goes too.

I read somewhere that we bring them in on the fruit we buy from the supermarkets. They lay the eggs and stay dormant until they get into the warmth and then hatch as the fruit ripens.

[ktv303]

i bought  these a while ago...got rid of them in a couple of days

 

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